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♉ 003

wHO DO YOU TALK TO CONCERNING ABOUT, uHH, fEELINGS OR, tHINGS LIKE THAT, wHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A MOIRAIL,
i TRIED TALKING TO rUFIO BUT, iT WASN'T THE MOST HELPFUL THING TO DO AS, bEING MY SELF ESTEEM, hE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THAN i DO,
aND, oH YEAH, hE'S ALSO FAKE,

tHERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT, mAYBE, aRE KIND OF UPSETTING ME RIGHT NOW, i GUESS, aND,
i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

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oH NO, i REALLY LIKE HAVING FRIENDS, aND, i'M HONORED IF, mAYBE, yOU WANT TO BE IN A FRIENDSHIP WITH ME, aLSO,

oH,
sORRY, }:(
iT'S MAINLY THAT, i'VE HAD TO EXPLAIN TROLL ROMANCE TO SO MANY PEOPLE, aND IT GETS TIRING, a LITTLE BIT,

I'd like to be in a friendship with you. I really think you're pretty cool, you know?

Well...don't you think...having to explain what you mean by terms like moirail and all...it doesn't mean that humans don't understand the emotions. It just means we don't know your words for them. I mean, I can understand why it'd get tiring, but it doesn't mean we don't have those feelings too.

tHANK YOU, uHH, i THINK, yOU'RE PRETTY COOL, aSLO,
i DEFINITELY WOULDN'T MIND BEING IN A FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU,

tHAT'S TRUE,
uM, i CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT, iF YOU WANT,
i THINK, mAYBE TALKING IS HELPING, sORT OF,

Really? Heh, thanks.

Sure. If you don't want to explain troll romances again, you can just tell me how you're feeling? Maybe I can explain what the human terms are so you don't have to explain all your troll stuff again.

tHAT COULD BE, rEALLY HELPFUL IN THE FUTURE,
uHH, bUT ACTUALLY, cAN YOU LOCK THIS,
i SUDDENLY DON'T FEEL VERY WELL AND, i ALWAYS MESS THE LOCK UP, aNYWAY,

Oh. Yeah. There we go.

Um. Did something really bad happen?

nO,
uHH,
mAYBE,
iT'S JUST THAT, tHE PERSON i HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR DOESN'T RETURN THEM, aND,
i ALREADY KNEW THAT, mOSTLY,
bUT, i AM STILL KIND OF, nOT FEELING VERY WELL ABOUT IT,

Oh.

[there's a long pause, and then a soft little sigh]

I'm really sorry, Tavros. I know how that feels. I'm pretty sure the guy I like doesn't like me back either.

But...maybe you can keep trying? You can't give up too easily, right? Sometimes it just takes time and like...getting to know each other better?

mAYBE, bUT,
eVEN IF THAT WAS THE CASE, i DON'T THINK i HAVE THE CONFIDENCE REQUIRED TO, uHH, dO SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
bEING THAT MY CONFIDENCE IS A MADE UP FAKE THING, iN MY HEAD, aND NOT REAL AT ALL,
aND, sHE'S WAY TOO COOL FOR ME, aS IT STANDS,
(tHE, uHH, pERSON i'M FLUSHED FOR, nOT MY CONFIDENCE, wHO IS MALE),

Why wouldn't you have the confidence? You're so cool, and you're a really nice guy, so why wouldn't she like you? I mean...if you just keep trying, she'll probably see what she's missing out on, right?

I mean, what is it you think is wrong with you?

uHH, wELL, tHERE ARE A FEW THINGS, i THINK, oNE SUCH BEING THAT i'M, yOU KNOW, cRIPPLED,
aND ALSO, tHE FACT THAT rUFIO IS A FAKE,
i DON'T KNOW FOR SURE BUT, i THINK MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE UP THEIR CONFIDENCE IMAGINARILY, lIKE ME,
aND, oH YEAH, i'M A RUSTBLOOD,
nONE OF THAT'S VERY COOL, at ALL, pROBABLY,

Um, well, there's nothing wrong with being crippled. It's a tough thing to deal with, but it isn't the end of the world, right? And it doesn't matter about Rufio, I mean, I have Agito, so it isn't like it's uncommon or anything, right? Agito is real, but he's there for the same reason.

Rustblood?

nO,
tHAT IS, i MEAN, i'VE BEEN DEALING WITH IT OK, mOSTLY,
iT'S JUST, sOMETIMES i MISS BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS, sUCH AS STANDING AND, wALKING AND RUNNING,
aND BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS THAT, yOU KNOW, tROLLS THAT ARE NORMAL ARE ABLE TO DO,
aND, i GUESS, i DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE VERY FUN, fOR SOMEONE TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS ABOUT ME,

oH, uHH, i DIDN'T REALLY KNOW THAT'S WHY aGITO WAS THERE,
bUT HOW CAN HE BE REAL AND BE YOUR CONFIDENCE, aT THE SAME TIME,

mY BLOOD, iT'S ON THE LOWER END OF THE CASTE,

Well, I mean...mostly that it shouldn't be a reason that anyone turns you down, you know? Anyway, it's not a good reason to not try, because you never know, maybe the other person might be fine with it. You can't know until you try, right?

Well...it's not really my confidence. I sort of hide behind Agito. He does the things I don't want to do.

Caste? What's a caste?

i GUESS,
mAYBE i'LL TRY, tHEN, oNE DAY,
bUT, fOR NOW, i THINK i HAVE TO GET OVER THESE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR SOMEBODY ELSE, pROBABLY,

rEALLY, }:o
wOW, i WISH i COULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, wITH rUFIO,

uHH, yOU KNOW, lIKE SOCIAL CLASSES,

You think so? That sucks.

It's...I don't know. It makes things easier, but sometimes I wonder if it's...you know. Healthy. But it's really the only thing I could do, considering the situation. It doesn't really matter though, my stuff, so. Heh. Sorry.

Social classes...like, popular kids at school and things? What's it got to do with blood?

yEAH, sEEING THAT, sHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY AND, i GUESS, sHE'S A BIT TOO OLD FOR ME,

oH, uHH, i DON'T MIND LISTENING TO YOUR STUFF, tOO,
bUT, i DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT MIGHT BE, yOU KNOW, uNHEALTHY TO ABSCOND, iF YOU CAN'T HANDLE SOMETHING,

mORE LIKE, uHH,
wELL, wE HAVE A HEMOSPECTRUM, wITH RED BLOODED TROLLS AT THE BOTTOM AND, pURPLE-BLOODED TROLLS AT THE TOP,
aND, tHE LOWER YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM, tHE LOWER CLASS YOU ARE,
dOES THAT, mAKE IT ANY MORE CLEARER,

Too old? How old are you, and how old is she?

Well, it's just that I couldn't actually get away, because Brother wouldn't let me, and so Agito came and rescued me. I still don't know where he came from...

Red is at the bottom? My blood is red, so I guess that means...I'm pretty low too, huh?

i'M SIX SOLAR SWEEPS, wHICH, i THINK, iS TWELVE OR THIRTEEN HUMAN YEARS, wHILE SHE'S SEVENTEEN HUMAN YEARS,
iT'S NOT A BIG DIFFERENCE, i GUESS, bUT SHE'D BE CONSIDERED AN ADULT SOON ON aLTERNIA, aND,
tHAT WOULD BE, yOU KNOW, hIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE,

bUT, uHH, i GUESS, i STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT'S BAD,
i MEAN, mAYBE i DO, bECAUSE IT'S CONSIDERED COWARDLY TO ABSCOND, i GUESS, bUT,
tHAT'S WHY WE NEED PEOPLE SUCH AS aGITO AND rUFIO, iSN'T IT,

aLL HUMANS HAVE RED BLOOD, tHOUGH, dON'T THEY,
sOMEONE TOLD ME THAT, hUMANS HAVE OTHER MEANS OF CLASSING EACH OTHER,

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♉ 003

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